Tag: prayer

Longing for Greatness

Longing for Greatness

I’ve always longed for greatness.  Not in the sense that everyone knows me or that I’m famous.  Rather, I have always desired a great mission or task in life.  I want to contribute something to the world and I want it to impact people.  This weekend I watched The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler and I was re-filled with the desire to pursue greatness.

Irena Sendler was a young Polish woman who lived during the time of World War II.  She was a social worker, but her work went far beyond her simple job title.  During the time that the Jewish people were being relocated to the ghettos and then to “work camps,” Irena worked tirelessly to smuggle children to safety.  Risking her life, she worked with a courageous group to secretly save children by tucking them into tool boxes, packing them into boxes, or hiding them in vehicles.  Later caught, she endured torture and was nearly killed, all the while never giving up any secrets.

In total, it is said that Irena Sendler and companions helped to save 2,500 Jewish children in Poland.  The children were placed with convents or families throughout Poland.  She kept meticulous records of who their parents were and where they were placed in the hopes that families would be reunited after the war.  This young woman quietly changed the world and, initially, received little recognition for it.  She was awarded Righteous Among the Nations in 1965 and later named an honorary citizen of Israel in 1991.  In 2007, she was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.  However, for most of her life she lived with little acclaim or notoriety for her heroic actions and sacrifices.

While I do not hope for concentration camps or totalitarian regimes, this is the greatness for which I long.  I look at her life and I see a greatness that goes beyond one person.  Yet the greatness that I see and anyone can see who looks at her life was not recognized by Irena herself.  She did not see herself as a hero or seem pleased with her accomplishments.  Instead, she said that she could have done more to save more children. Continue reading “Longing for Greatness” →

In the Midst of Chaos: Peace

In the Midst of Chaos: Peace

Eight years ago, I sat in my college dorm room, watched election results, and cried.

I’m not particularly political by nature, but it was the first presidential election I could vote in and one that I had campaigned for despite personal discomfort.  [Two words: phone banking.]  As the “worst” happened, I couldn’t help but feel sad for our country and a concern that we were doomed.

Yesterday, I knew election results would not go the way I wanted, because I found it difficult to even voice a strong preference for president, other than, “Can we have different options?”  While I care about my country and I know it is important to be active politically, I have chosen to remain a bit removed from the fray.  It has given me a greater sense of peace over the past few months and I am grateful for that.

Walking out of the polling place yesterday, I just felt tired.  I feel a bit like I voted for the election to simply be over.  Question #1: Would you like the campaign season to end?  Yes! Continue reading “In the Midst of Chaos: Peace” →

I Know What Not To Pray For

I Know What Not To Pray For

“Alright, Lord, how do You want me to pray for this?”

Finally, finally, something was making its way through my dense head.  I had tried my own methods when I felt like the Lord was taking too long.  Yet each time I found that my ways didn’t work.

So You have a different plan, Lord?  Would you like to let me in on it?

Apparently, He does not.  In the midst of waiting, though, I would like to be praying for something.  I want to plead with the Lord to work in some way.  However, I do not know what He wants or how I should pray for it.

I simply know what I cannot pray for.  Many times I’ve prayed for the Lord to cut something out of my heart: a person, a habit, a feeling, an emotion, a thought, etc.  I want Him to take a Divine Scalpel and cut out the portion that doesn’t fit or that I don’t want.   Continue reading “I Know What Not To Pray For” →

Ordinary

Ordinary

“What do your parents do?”
“My dad is a retired firefighter and now drives people at a retirement home.  My mom stayed home with us when we were young and now works as a receptionist at a clinic.”
“Hmm.  I thought it would be something different…I thought your dad would be a politician or something.”
“Nope.  My dad is pretty ordinary.”

Some of the people at the table laugh and one says that the next time he sees my dad, he will tell him that I said he is ordinary.

“What did they do to teach the faith?  Did you go to daily Mass?”
“No.  We prayed the rosary sometimes and usually prayers at night.  My parents just talked about the faith very openly and we always went to Mass on Sunday.  My parents are pretty ordinary.  They just did what they were supposed to: they were our primary educators in the faith.” Continue reading “Ordinary” →

Praying for Them

Praying for Them

Maybe the reason God arranged it so that I would be “randomly” selected to chaperone the dance was because He knew my response.  If my internal dialogue could have been heard by my fellow chaperones, I’m certain I would have been given all kinds of weird looks.  As I was being filled in on the less-than-admirable extra-curricular activities of the students, I was praying for them.  I was looking out at the dance floor, vaguely picking up on the words of music I don’t listen to, and praying that the Blood of Jesus would cover them.

I watched them.  And I wished I could force-feed them some of my experiences, some of my certain knowledge.  They are fervently racing after fulfillment, happiness, and satisfaction.  Yet they are running in the wrong directions.  I almost felt like I was in a burning building with them as they ran around, looking for the exit.  Meanwhile, I am standing near the exit, holding an emergency manual, but they are convinced that there must be some other way.  It made my heart ache for them in a new way.

Taking in the scene make me grateful, though.  In a fairly affluent school, I could see a definite materialism within them.  Success seems to be clearly defined as making money or making a name for yourself.  And I was grateful that I was not raised with such expectations.  I’ve wanted to be a teacher since third grade and my parents supported me: proof that making money wasn’t a part of their philosophy of success.  I don’t blame the students for seeking money and success if they are what are taught as the most important things in life.  But I know that isn’t where true fulfillment is found.  I know I have great freedom because I don’t place tons of value in money, expensive things, or positions of authority and power.

Despite the times they make me want to pull my hair out or roll my eyes or end the day early, I have an affection for my students that is abiding.  A student who is struggling stopped by my classroom and although we aren’t particularly close, my heart was moved by them.  I smiled at the student and briefly reviewed the recent class work.  But when the student had walked out of my room, I realized the great look of vulnerability in their eyes.  Even though I was talking about videos and projects, I wanted to convey a sincerity and kindness toward them.  The only other thing I wanted to say but didn’t think of until later was simply, “It is good to see you.”  I’m glad you exist.

Because I am.  Frustrations and disappointments aside, I am glad my students exist.  I am glad I have them in my room and that I get to spend time with them.  And, because they are what they are and I am what I am, I will continue to pray for them, even if my prayers would cause people to look at me askance if they heard them.

Precious Blood of Jesus, pour over my students.  Sanctify, purify, and save them.