This Is Us

I have a friend who once said that some things are cliché because they are true. Phrases that seem trite and overused are sometimes the best way to say what we want to say. They have become clichés because they express a truth like nothing else really can.

At times, I fight against what it seems a lot of people like or consider to be the best. But sometimes, it is because it is actually good that so many people rave about specific things. On Facebook, I’ve seen quite a few people talking about how much they loved the show “This Is Us.” With the school year wrapped up, I decided to give it a try.

I don’t think a show has ever pulled at my heart as much as this one has.

I love how they portray the complexity of the human heart. In this show, families are messy, imperfect, and crucial to our own identity. As the show unfolds, perfect facades crumble to reveal that everyone is striving to get through life doing the best they can and making numerous mistakes along the way. It is very human, which makes it simultaneously beautiful and frustrating. Though the families can be chaotic, a theme interwoven in the show is the importance of family. Whether they are blood relations or adopted family, the experiences we have in our homes shape how we interact with the rest of the world.

This Is Us- Season 1 — THIS IS US — Pictured: “This Is Us” Horizontal Key Art — (Photo by: NBCUniversal)

In a world that seems to insist that families can be replaced with technology or friend groups, it is refreshing to see families upheld as the place where we grow, change, and become who we are. Imperfect families, with parents fighting their own struggles and children feeling their own unique pains, are the places that shape us and show us how to love. “This Is Us” doesn’t claim that all families are perfect or should be perfect. I would say they are simply claiming that the role of family is irreplaceable. Continue reading “This Is Us” →

The Deepest Longing of Our Hearts

“I guess I don’t like the argument from desire because I’ve never felt a desire for something that can’t be satisfied on earth.”

As a melancholic who has nearly always longed for something beyond this world, I was a bit surprised by this admission. My class was reviewing arguments for God’s existence and as we went over each one, I would ask a few students to share if they liked or disliked the argument. Then they needed to voice why, perhaps the most difficult part of it all for them.

I wanted them to reflect on the arguments and see which ones they found personally compelling. Each person is different and so I wasn’t too concerned if they liked all of the arguments or not. Yet it is always interesting to me which ones they dislike and why. Some other students voiced a dislike for the desire argument, but the declaration that they had never desired something beyond this world seemed foreign to me.

Melancholic that I am, I have always longed for perfection. Ever since high school and college, that has translated into a longing for Heaven. So as my students were voicing that they have never experienced this unfulfilled desire for something beyond this world, I was left wondering why they don’t have a longing that I never remember being without.

In my first year of teaching, I prayed frequently for death. Not in a morbid way, but in a longing-for-home-and-yet-knowing-everything-around-me-is-temporary way. The more I battled with my students over Church teaching, the more I wanted to be in a place of eternal Goodness, Truth, and Beauty. Yet that was far from the first time that I had felt an unfulfilled desire. Why are my students not experiencing this also? Continue reading “The Deepest Longing of Our Hearts” →

When the Ordinary Prepares the Way for the Extraordinary

Kids are really good at living in the moment. It is what gives them the ability to swing from laughter to tears in a matter of seconds. They can have great joy eating an ice cream cone and then become distraught with five minutes in time out. Right now, right here is the most important thing for kids.

My niece is a prime example of both sides of this. I gave her a mermaid tail blanket for a belated Christmas present. She was enthused as she slipped it around her legs and then flopped along on the floor. Coming to me, she grabbed my legs and exclaimed, “I look exactly like a mermaid, Trish!” Contrast that scene with several weeks prior when she fought against the injustice of being forced to sit at the adult table while her two older brothers sat at a kid table. “Not fair!” she sobbed, pointing at her brothers, “They get to sit at the little table! No fair!” A few minutes later, having switched places with one semi-willing brother, she was more than content.

Adults can be similar, but we also are more prone to live in the past or the future. Sometimes we can forget that the present is all we really have.

Precious moments can slip away because they don’t come shrouded in the extraordinary. Everyday moments, ones that are ordinary yet give life beauty, are some of the most treasured once they have passed. I’ve heard it said that people often miss the ordinary moments when they lose people close to them. I have found that to be true in my life. My paternal grandfather died a few years ago and one of the things I miss most is giving him a hug before leaving his house and hearing him say, “Come again.” Continue reading “When the Ordinary Prepares the Way for the Extraordinary” →

My Seeking Heart is a Sought After Heart

This blog is entitled “Seeking After His Heart.” Ideally, I like to think of my life as a pursuit of the good, the true, and the beautiful. Yet sometimes I overlook the fact that it is really about the Good, the True, and the Beautiful pursing me.

God initiates all of our encounters with Him. If He did not reveal Himself, we would not know Him. If He did not allow us to perceive Him, then we would be completely unaware of His presence. Even prayer, which can sometimes be viewed as something we do for God, is actually something He does for us.

In conversation with my spiritual director, he told me to not overlook begging Jesus for the grace to go to Him in prayer. And sitting in the adoration chapel the other evening, I reminded myself that I was there simply because I responded to God’s grace. I mean, it kind of felt like it was purely my choice, but I knew that it was God offering His grace and me, finally, responding to it.

This initiation on God’s part is timeless. All of the Old Testament covenants are made because God interacts with a human person and desires to be in relationship with them. They don’t start the process. “Hey, God! I’d like to be a part of Your family!” God reaches down to us and adopts us as His own. Even greater still, He enters into the human family so as to bridge all gaps between us. There is nothing left for us to do but to respond.

In John’s Gospel, Jesus speaks to the Samaritan woman with simple words, “Give me a drink.” He seeks her out, He encounters her, and He asks her to enter into relationship with Him. Yet I love the way that the Lord does this. He reaches out to her and expresses His thirst for her. Continue reading “My Seeking Heart is a Sought After Heart” →

Maybe Friendship Could Change the World

Not too long ago, I went out for supper with a friend. There were couples and families out at the restaurant, but I was struck by the groups of women there. One long table was filled with women who appeared to be out celebrating some event. But there were at least two other booths of women and it made my heart glad to see them there.

Between bites of food and conversation, I would glance over at the booths of women. They were already seated by the time we got there and, after we had a leisurely meal, they were still there when we left. Perhaps it seems strange, but seeing these groups gave me encouragement. What they were doing was simple: it was a handful of women out for food and drinks. I never saw them photograph themselves or their food. Instead, they were talking and listening to one another. I couldn’t hear their conversation and I didn’t want to, yet it was obvious that it wasn’t superficial banter. Different ladies would speak and the rest would listen intently. It was obvious that they were drawn together by bonds of trust and friendship.

Did they speak about work successes or any difficulties involved? Did they discuss dating relationships or family matters? Were they discussing ideas or the state of world affairs? I don’t know, but I am convinced they were discussing matters that they held close to their hearts.

I will never argue that I am the best at maintaining or building friendships, but I know that true, authentic friendships add a richness to life. While I had friends in high school, I think my first experience of deep friendships happened at college. I’m not one to have lots and lots of friends or share deeply with many people, but I found a great joy in entering into intimate friendship with people who pursued the same values I did. Continue reading “Maybe Friendship Could Change the World” →

When will I feel like I’ve arrived?

The other day, I was filling my glass with water and perusing the pictures and cards decorating the refrigerator. A picture of a young couple with a smiling baby captured my attention. I found myself wanting to be them and thinking how lucky they were. They were married, had a baby, and lived in a warm climate.

“When will I feel like I’ve arrived?” I found myself wondering. And that question struck me. Most of us spend much of our lives waiting for the next phase, one that we idealize as better than our current state. Perhaps this couple is hardly sleeping and they are looking forward to the days when they can. Or maybe they are longing for another child. So I asked myself, “At what point will I have all I want?”

Will it be when I am married? Or when I have my first child? Or when I have a big family? Or when they start to grow up and we can go do things together? Or when they are all moved out and have families of their own? When will I be in the place that I want to be? What do I consider the end goal? Continue reading “When will I feel like I’ve arrived?” →

Unnecessarily Beautiful

Beauty is unnecessary.

I thought about how unnecessary beauty is as I sat in the Cathedral and listened to an orchestra play. Although an amateur lover of beauty, I was able to see the magnificence of the architecture and the glory of the music coming from a variety of instruments. Providence placed us nearly as close to the orchestra as we could be without holding an instrument ourselves. Yet several times throughout the evening I would think about how unnecessary this all was.

If the world came from chaos and all of life means nothing, I am struck by the existence of the beautiful. Beauty is unneeded for life to exist. It is entirely extra and unnecessary. Yet while unneeded, it is the joie de vivre of life. While we could live without it, we would not want to do so. It enriches life ten-fold and I think that is as the Lord wanted.

We have a place in our hearts for the beautiful. It is why some people spend so much time staging pictures. We are drawn toward the beautiful. Although any mug would work for coffee, I am far more likely to choose the ones I deem more beautiful in some way. It is beauty that makes me notice the trees etched in silver or the special smile on my niece’s face. Beauty bypasses the need for reason, although we can give reason for why we find something beautiful, if pressed.

The Lord is the one of which all the beautiful, transitory things on earth reflect a glimmer. My heart is being prepared to encounter Beauty Himself when I take in the toothless grin of my nephew or the majesty of the Sistine Chapel. When I encounter Him in the simplistic beauty that surrounds me, I am widening my heart to receive more of Him later on. Continue reading “Unnecessarily Beautiful” →

Captivated By a Baby

He is only five, but he seemed fixated by the scene unfolding before him. A mother of a newborn baby girl was gently unzipping the covering, unfastening the safety restraints, and then cradling the baby in her arms. My nephew is five years old, but he watched this all attentively. It was at Christmas morning Mass and so I could not help but be struck by the fact that the attention was focused on a baby.

My nephew didn’t say anything as he watched this all unfold and I doubt he reflected on it later. But it seemed fitting to me that such close attention was being paid to one in the same position that Christ Himself was in nearly two thousand years ago. A baby, small and frail, cradled in the arms of a mother.

Jesus, though God, was fully human. The arrivals of shepherds and wise men were most likely events by which He was unconcerned. At birth, babies can typically see the 8-10 inches between their faces and their parents’ faces but not further. So as Mary and Joseph are pondering the shepherds that came to kneel before their son, He is simply gazing into the face of His mother. Continue reading “Captivated By a Baby” →

Getting to the Heart of the Matter

“I will not let Satan use my heart against me.”

Arguably, the topic I write about most is the human heart. This is probably because I am always struggling to come to terms with having one. The Lord redeemed the human heart when He became incarnate. I am certain it provided difficulties for Him, also, but He handled all of those temptations and challenges to prove that, with His grace, it can be done.

Scripture speaks often of the heart.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Mt. 6:21)
“My heart overflows with a goodly theme; I address my verses to the king; my tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe.” (Ps. 45:1)
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, in The Brothers Karamazov, said, “The awful thing is that beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there and the battlefield is the heart of man.” Beauty is a powerful force and both God and Satan use it for their own purposes. It moves our hearts, sometimes against our wishes or in spite of our intentions.

Our hearts are being fought over and so I guess it makes sense that mine so often feels like a war zone. Too often, however, the main focus can be me and not about how the Lord could be using feelings, situations, and circumstances to draw me closer to Himself. And when the focus rests on me, it becomes a pretty dismal outlook. In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis recognizes this tendency in a letter to Wormwood, a young demon-in-training. “The simplest is to turn their gaze away from Him towards themselves. Keep them watching their own minds and trying to produce feelings there by the actions of their own wills.” Continue reading “Getting to the Heart of the Matter” →

Speak Truth

There is something about truth that attracts.

It isn’t because the truth is always what we want to hear. Many times, it is the exact opposite. Truth, however, spoken ardently and sincerely can be a powerful force, a compelling and crushing beauty.

Challenging someone with unadorned truth can provoke change. And it can be a testament to the great love and respect the truth-teller has for the other. These reflections I’ve had spring from a rather unlikely source: I watched a movie. Continue reading “Speak Truth” →

Seeking After His Heart

A Blog Following the Quest of A Human Heart

Tag: Beauty