Snow and Humanity

I love what snow does to humanity.

Granted, I am not a fan of driving in snow, but I get a strange exhilaration from the experience. In the midst of snow or after a heavy snowfall, I find myself willing humanity to work together. Even though difficulties can sometimes bring out the worst in us, it can also bring out the best in us. Last night, I encountered people driving cautiously and courteously. People were more patient as their fellow drivers struggled to stop at lights or took a couple extra seconds to gain traction.

The snow forces me to be concerned about the other, even if for nothing other than my own self-preservation. I am particularly aware of how far their vehicle is from mine or what I can do to make their commute home a little easier. Instead of only being concerned if I get through the light, I am instead considering what will be best for those with whom I share the road. It is good for humanity to experience the gift of working with each other for the good of all. Continue reading “Snow and Humanity” →

That Others May Be Chosen

The Litany of Humility is one of those prayers that I hate. And love. And wish I loved more, but am a bit scared by. If ever there was a prayer that could level a solid crushing blow to the ego, I believe the Litany of Humility is a top contender.

“That others may be chosen and I set aside,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.”

There are several parts during this prayer that cause me to cringe, and this line is one of them. This cringing comes from the fact that I do not actually desire this to be true. It seems like it would be too difficult if this went from prayer to actuality.

Simply put: I want to be chosen.

Doesn’t everyone want to be chosen? I want to be the chosen confidant. I want to be the dearly loved and chosen friend. I want to be the favorite teacher. I want to be the one people choose to ask questions because they think I will know the answer. I want people to choose to read what I write. For so many things, I want people to choose me. Continue reading “That Others May Be Chosen” →

The Evangelized Family

I am a long way from having a family and kids of my own, but this morning I was led to consider what I would want it to look like. Although I didn’t come up with specifics, I reflected on a few elements that I would like to implement somehow. From my vantage point, I am still able to be filled with high-minded ideals and hopeful expectation of a peaceful family life. In the midst of fighting children, endless laundry, and a whirlwind of activities, I am sure my ideals will be made a bit more practical and a bit less perfected.

While at times difficult to discern, parents have a tremendous impact in shaping their children’s personalities and values. Yesterday, my sister and I took our niece and nephews to a play. Throughout the whole play, my niece would slide over to me and say excitedly, “I can’t wait!” or “I’m so excited!” It never really made sense to me until I re-told the story to her mom later. My sister-in-law said that her daughter was probably saying what she had been saying over the past few days in anticipation of moving to a new home. If this can happen for phrases or actions, then the same would be true for matters of faith.

Parents are the primary educators of their children in the faith. When parents model the faith, the children will seek to do the same thing. It is a monumental task that can seem a bit overwhelming. At their baptism, you promise to instruct them in the faith and lead them to Heaven. So this morning in Mass, I considered: how does one do this? Continue reading “The Evangelized Family” →

Getting to the Heart of the Matter

“I will not let Satan use my heart against me.”

Arguably, the topic I write about most is the human heart. This is probably because I am always struggling to come to terms with having one. The Lord redeemed the human heart when He became incarnate. I am certain it provided difficulties for Him, also, but He handled all of those temptations and challenges to prove that, with His grace, it can be done.

Scripture speaks often of the heart.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Mt. 6:21)
“My heart overflows with a goodly theme; I address my verses to the king; my tongue is like the pen of a ready scribe.” (Ps. 45:1)
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, in The Brothers Karamazov, said, “The awful thing is that beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there and the battlefield is the heart of man.” Beauty is a powerful force and both God and Satan use it for their own purposes. It moves our hearts, sometimes against our wishes or in spite of our intentions.

Our hearts are being fought over and so I guess it makes sense that mine so often feels like a war zone. Too often, however, the main focus can be me and not about how the Lord could be using feelings, situations, and circumstances to draw me closer to Himself. And when the focus rests on me, it becomes a pretty dismal outlook. In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis recognizes this tendency in a letter to Wormwood, a young demon-in-training. “The simplest is to turn their gaze away from Him towards themselves. Keep them watching their own minds and trying to produce feelings there by the actions of their own wills.” Continue reading “Getting to the Heart of the Matter” →

What They Remember

My sister asked her if she ever had me as a teacher. She couldn’t remember what class I even taught her, but she knew that she had. My pride was wounded a bit at the idea that the hours upon hours I spent teaching weren’t memorable. The question wasn’t what was the favorite thing I taught her, simply what class did I teach.

What she did remember was that at the end of the semester, I wrote every senior a card. It was the only year I ever did that. Apparently, that spoke louder than the arguments for God’s existence, Church teachings, and problem of evil discussions. Continue reading “What They Remember” →

Waiting: For Christmas and the End

“There is nothing restful about Advent yearning.”
(Come, Lord Jesus: Meditations on the Art of Waiting, Mother Mary Francis, P.C.C.)

Waiting.

I find myself waiting for a lot of things. Waiting for packages to arrive in the mail, waiting for conversations to occur, waiting for the end of the semester, or just waiting for something new to happen. Advent is filled to the brim with waiting.

We can often paint Advent as this oh-so-pleasant and peaceful time of waiting for Christmas. And, in a way, it is. It should be a time of peace and eager preparations. However, ask any pregnant woman, engaged couple, or person awaiting medical tests and they will tell you that waiting can be a time of difficult longing. There is a tension found in the waiting and, while not necessarily a bad thing, it isn’t always pleasant. Continue reading “Waiting: For Christmas and the End” →

Longing for Greatness

I’ve always longed for greatness. Not in the sense that everyone knows me or that I’m famous. Rather, I have always desired a great mission or task in life. I want to contribute something to the world and I want it to impact people. This weekend I watched The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler and I was re-filled with the desire to pursue greatness.

Irena Sendler was a young Polish woman who lived during the time of World War II. She was a social worker, but her work went far beyond her simple job title. During the time that the Jewish people were being relocated to the ghettos and then to “work camps,” Irena worked tirelessly to smuggle children to safety. Risking her life, she worked with a courageous group to secretly save children by tucking them into tool boxes, packing them into boxes, or hiding them in vehicles. Later caught, she endured torture and was nearly killed, all the while never giving up any secrets.

In total, it is said that Irena Sendler and companions helped to save 2,500 Jewish children in Poland. The children were placed with convents or families throughout Poland. She kept meticulous records of who their parents were and where they were placed in the hopes that families would be reunited after the war. This young woman quietly changed the world and, initially, received little recognition for it. She was awarded Righteous Among the Nations in 1965 and later named an honorary citizen of Israel in 1991. In 2007, she was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. However, for most of her life she lived with little acclaim or notoriety for her heroic actions and sacrifices.

While I do not hope for concentration camps or totalitarian regimes, this is the greatness for which I long. I look at her life and I see a greatness that goes beyond one person. Yet the greatness that I see and anyone can see who looks at her life was not recognized by Irena herself. She did not see herself as a hero or seem pleased with her accomplishments. Instead, she said that she could have done more to save more children. Continue reading “Longing for Greatness” →

A Lot Can Happen in a Year

A phrase I have found myself repeating over the last few months is, “A lot can happen in a year.” It has come up when reflecting on different friends and how their lives have changed. Sometimes it relates to jobs or relationships or babies. And, sometimes, when I’m being a bit more pessimistic and thinking about my own life, I’ll add to the end of that phrase, “…or not change.”

Yet, mostly, I utter this phrase in hope. Whatever state my life is in now, in a year, it could be very different. Who knows what the Lord has planned for tomorrow? or next week? or next month? His promises and blessings for this next year will definitely be different from what I imagine, but they will continue to change and transform me.

Sometimes change can be a bit scary. And at other times, change can be prayed for and longed for. I have numerous desires in my heart that I long for the Lord to fulfill. But I also can be led to worry about how He will fulfill them and if I am actually ready for Him to fulfill them. Whatever my current feelings may be, a lot can and will happen in the next year.

This week we are wrapping up one liturgical year and preparing for the advent of another. Now is a good time to consider how the Lord has poured out His blessings upon our lives. The past year of grace has changed and transformed us. What are specific ways the Lord has caused us to grow? What encounters have we had with the Lord and how have they changed us? How have they not changed us as much as they ought? The next year will continue to do the same in new and unexpected ways. As we sit on the cusp of a new year, let us pray to be filled with a deeper desire to enter into salvation history in a new way. May this next year not leave us unchanged. Come, Lord Jesus, reign in my life. Let a lot happen in this next year.

In one moment, I can give you more than you are able to desire.
(Jesus to St. Faustina, Diary 1169)

Jim and Pam

I have a tendency to resist liking things that other people like simply because other people like them. Make sense? Of course not. But I learned that “don’t give into peer pressure” thing really well in elementary school and it just maybe turned me into a bit of a contrarian. In elementary school, I was pretty adamant about not liking any of the boy bands or Britney Spears. I was a sharp critic of modern fashions and I was never the first to have anything trendy.

I like to think I have balanced out a bit and that I allow myself to like things that other people like. Nevertheless, I do like to go against the flow and not adopt things simply because lots of other people do. So I’ve heard people talk about “The Office” for years and I was never really interested in learning more about it. I watched “Parks and Rec” because my housemates were into it at the time, but that was one of the first TV series I had invested in. When I got around to watching “The Office,” I was surprised that I enjoyed it, once I was familiar with the characters. And, being the romantic that I am, I fell for Jim and Pam’s relationship. Continue reading “Jim and Pam” →

We Laugh

I have a deep fondness for my students. They may not even realize the extent of it and, in a way, that is probably good for both parties. While I get annoyed by some things they say or do on a semi-regular basis, I am rarely angry with them. And I cannot help but consider how I have grown over the past four years of teaching.

This year, my fifth year, has become more of a reflective year. I have considered multiple times how my responses have changed toward my students. What might have caused me frustration or anger in the past, will often lead me to just shaking my head with a smile or laughing until I’m nearly crying.

For example, this week I had to instruct a student to not eat cereal in class. It wasn’t a little zip-loc bag of cereal but the entire plastic bag simply removed from the box. Or, when my students were ‘diligently’ working on their study guides, I came across one student drawing. The drawing? It was called “The Science of the Dab” and it outlined in written directions as well as sketches how to properly dab. I nearly cried from laughing so hard. Or being asked a million times my thoughts on the election leading up to it and then my thoughts post-election. Continue reading “We Laugh” →

Seeking After His Heart

A Blog Following the Quest of A Human Heart